ADHD fuels alot of my self-hatred : ADHD

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I think I’ve always had a hard time accepting my ADHD diagnosis or really just understanding how my brain works. I constantly compare myself to others and wonder why I have to be this way and other people dont. It affects my school life, home life, friendships, and relationships. It’s like all these little things that keep adding up and I’ve gotten to a point where I’m constantly aware of it. Whether it’s not remembering really anything I’ve ever learned or any movie/tv show I’ve watched. It’s questioning my intelligence every day and wondering if something else is actually wrong with my brain. It’s the impulsive behavior I exhibit constantly. It’s drinking with friends and the majority of the time ending up way too drunk because I don’t know when to stop or exhibiting no self control in really any aspect of my life. It’s always pushing things to the absolute last minute and then getting stressed because of it. It’s over sharing too much and then regretting it. It’s really wanting to do something and genuinely meaning to do it, but not. I could think of a million more.

It’s just hard constantly wondering what it’s like to not have ADHD and having “why me” thoughts.

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