Everything Is Confusing And I Am Losing My Shit : ADHD

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I cannot, for the life of me, do well in an online class.

I’m a college student and I’m expecting this year to possibly be my last. When shit hit the fan in the middle of the spring semester this March, I lost all the great new year momentum I had built. I had to ask most of my professors to give me a U (Unsatisfied) so I wouldn’t get F’s on my transcript and lower my GPA. I’ve had to rework my schedule THREE separate times so far to make sure that all my classes were face-to-face lectures.

With the fall semester coming in quick and the pandemic still raging, I’m getting anxious. I argued with my parents about going downtown rather than taking online courses today. They think it’s too much of a risk to go to classes in person. My issue with the online courses is that it’s very hard to keep myself accountable of all the work I would need to get done. I procrastinate a lot and I can’t really keep a routine without an external reason. I also struggle if I don’t have a proper environment to learn in. Being at home doesn’t help at all.

I’m not sure what to do exactly. Should I just go for it and keep my in-person classes? (My university is enforcing a strict sanitation system and social distancing guidelines, but public transit is what’s going to be a gamble. I ride the bus and rail system.) Should I just go fully online despite all my issues with online courses? Should I compromise and switch half my classes with online ones and hope for the best?

I have no fucking clue what to do. Bad enough I’m being called back to work and I can’t risk going to both school and work and then coming back home to my family. I don’t want them getting sick. Hell. I don’t want to catch the virus. I’m considering just quitting altogether. A department store job isn’t worth me or my family dying.

I need to sort all this shit out. Any advice?

(Sorry if this goes against any of the community guidelines!! I’m new to this subreddit!)

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