I do not believe it. Not really. A success from someone else’s life. : ADHD

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As I sit here, slightly teary eyed, it feels like another person’s life, someone else’s achievement.

Is it really true?

The stupid kid who was told “you won’t succeed in 5 units” actually did it? [highest level of high school math back where I grew up]

The student who barely finished high school

The student who’s average on tests during high school was not to show up

Is it possible that I actually got this?

Is this my achievement?

I dreamt of it, but never dared imagining.

I wished for it, but never believed.

I wanted it, but did not trust myself to achieve.

I worked harder the past year than I ever have, not just academically. It was harder than all the toughest things I did during my military service, combined, including trying to unscrew the screw we ended up welding out.

The cost was high. It often felt impossible, it probably was impossible. I refused. I refuse to not try. I refuse to not get up when I fell. I refused to give up. I never give up. For the first time in my life, it paid off. All the effort, commitment, consistency, resilience, they all paid off.

Here I am, staring at the screen, having received my last official grade for my first year in academics after 8 years.

It feels like one, but it is not a dream.

It doesn’t look like it, but it is reality.

It feels surreal, but it’s true.

The failure has achieved an average of 84.9%, and made it onto the dean’s honors list, for what is my first ever academic achievement.

Thank you for reading, I wrote it this way because it shows me the size of the achievement and for me it merits more than the usual. 🙂

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