I feel like ADHD is ruining my life, but I don’t know if I’m just using it as an excuse or what anymore.. : ADHD

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So long story short, I was diagnosed with Borderline – ADHD when I was in 5th grade, but my parents didn’t want me to get any medication to help out with it so I’ve never tried any ADHD meds, so I have no idea if they would even help me out.

I feel so useless, unproductive, and frankly stupid most of the time. I’m 19 y/o and my parent has done most of everything for me my whole life, I’ve never held a real job, except for a couple of side jobs like dog-sitting and other small stuff like that just to make some money. I never really did well in school because I could never focus, and I was always a very shy kid so I was always afraid to ask the teachers or people for help so I just tried to go it on my own and hope that it would work out for me. I find it super hard to focus on things that I don’t really have an interest in, and whenever I try to learn things like cooking or other basic life skills I have so much trouble trying to retain all of the information so I end up forgetting it a few days later and I don’t know how to fix that. I have a huge problem with my memory sometimes, someone can be flat-face explaining something to me but if I don’t watch them do it a couple of times then I will have no idea how to replicate what they are trying to teach me, couple all of that with Semi-Voluntary tics that debilitate me sometimes and it makes life excruciatingly difficult at certain times. I have no direction in life right now, I want to go to at-least Community College but I wouldn’t even know where to start, I don’t know what Career path I want to follow (I used to have a heavy interest in Law – Enforcement, but that dream is long dead). I just want to feel like a normalish person and be successful, to not care what others think about me and be the “Captain of my Own Ship”, but I don’t know how to even start bettering myself. Anyways, sorry for the long ranting-vent.

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