Hey guys, I’m really struggling right now. I’m 20 years old and currently on the verge of dropping out in my second year of university and I feel so lackluster.
To be upfront, I don’t know that I have ADHD, I haven’t been tested. I’ve wondered for the last few years if I could have it. Looking at you guys’ testimonies, struggles, and experiences and how I relate to them across my entire life has made me wonder more. Although, my parents have always insisted that I just lack discipline. That I have a selective memory. That I choose to forget the things that aren’t fun to me. That I procrastinate chronically because I am lazy. That I don’t focus on my work because I would rather play around. It’s really bearing down on me now, because lately, I haven’t been trying in school. I miss class, I don’t do my work, I forget to make meetings. I don’t even try to form better habits now because I know I never stick with them for very long… I just can’t decide whether I’m lazy or something could be wrong with me. I know I could get taken down by the mods for even asking for recommendations in regards to testing, but I feel powerless right now.
My parents have always thought of me as a “gifted” kid who has no excuse to get anything but A’s and even think doctors overdose kids as having ADHD who actually are just in need of stricter punishments. Those two things together have made me deny my “symptoms” as any of my tendencies always were dismissed by my parents as character flaws. My first grade teacher even told my parents she thinks I have ADHD, but my parents disagreed and just became more strict on me. (I think my 6th grade teacher suspected it, too). But maybe they are, idk. Whatever the case, try as I might, I haven’t been able to fix them thus far. I’m in the same rut I always get in—little to no motivation to continue my schoolwork—except this time I’m running on fumes, facing the brick wall that is higher ed.
My parents just put heavy restrictions on me because I’m not doing what I’m supposed to be doing… so I’m moving out, too. It feels like I’m in over my head.
I’m going to call my health provider tomorrow and see about why I feel the way I do.
Any advice for someone who is questioning whether they could have ADHD and is struggling in school?