i don’t even view it as pleasurable anymore. i take breaks from playing because it stresses me out. i spend hours hyper focused on it and use it as a coping mechanism to live vicariously in a utopian world, completely disregarding everything else in life. yet i keep playing and i’ve turned it into a capitalistic game where i sell turnips to get bells for the sense of gratification. i know i can play in a different way but my mind keeps seeking that reward. it upsets me because i played this game in my childhood for different reasons and now it’s just sour. i’m losing track of what day it is. i just needed to express this.