i started crying immediately after it was confirmed!

i just wanna share this feeling with a crowd who will understand! I am 24F undiagnosed but i have suspected that i have ADHD on and off since i was a kid, and then very strongly for the past year-ish. I’ve had severe anxiety for several years which i’m on an ssri for, dropped out of college twice, the most recent time i dropped out was after i forgot to do another assignment that would have led to me not passing a required course for the third time. i was seeing a counselor at my school for panic attacks when she suggested ADHD last March saying that an unfocused mind can easily become anxious, and i was like “shit! that’s it!!”

my doctor won’t prescribe me ADHD meds without an actual diagnosis, understandably on her end, and a LOT of small obstacles have kept me from getting there. I live at home in a rural area where there aren’t many mental health resources to begin with, the ones that i could find didn’t take my insurance, or didn’t take insurance at all and charged hundreds out of pockets for testing, or only treated children, or weren’t accepting new patients, and then COVID closed everything, plus i work 10-hour days M-Th and have untreated ADHD so life is hard enough just trying to do the bare minimum let alone seek out a new provider!!!!!! every time i called somewhere that didn’t work out it felt like i needed to rest for a whole day. i finally found a site that let me schedule a telehealth appointment and i have one set for this Friday morning!!!!

i know some people are against self-diagnosis but reading about adult ADHD feels like i’m reading an article someone wrote about my life. everything to a T. since i haven’t been able to get treatment right away i’ve done reading on my own and i’ve literally never felt so validated in my life. like all the things i have always hated about myself are actually just symptoms of a condition that i can’t control. it’s not my fault! and it’s going to get better! and i finally feel hopeful for myself and i feel like i can get unstuck!!!

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