I was on Vyvanse and convinced myself I didn’t need it so I flushed it down the toilet : ADHD

And now I kinda regret it lol. But at the same time I don’t, because my personality is back and I feel happier. But then again I find myself cringing at some stupid jokes I made in class today. It’s a terrible dillemma, when I’m on meds I’m more productive and act like a respectable adult but I lose my sense of humor and forget how to relax. Off meds I’m kind of a mess and I make possibly inappropriate jokes and don’t really know what I should be doing and everything is a little overwhelming. I wish there was a way to get the benefits of meds without turning into a robot basically. Any suggestions?