I’m too dependent on my boyfriend and it’s killing me emotionally (21F) : ADHD


Hey so I’m one of those “life revolves around partner” type people. I hyperfocus & wanna spend 99% of my time with my bf and I’m really struggling with it atm. Posting on this sub because I feel like ADHDers are likely to relate to the obsession thing.

I’ve been with him officially for 2 months, but we’ve been seeing each other on/off for about 3 years (we travelled a lot so just wasn’t feasible before). I moved to the other side of the country for uni/work/him (he moved about a year before I did) in January – then covid hit so obviously haven’t had much chance to establish a life for myself here yet.

He works full time and I study & an internship, but we’ve still been spending a LOT of time together, nearly every day. Things are good, but I find myself getting overly anxious depressed and low anytime I can’t be around him. It’s like separation anxiety and it’s really frustrating.

Problem is I don’t have a solid routine, hobbies are all closed and my social circle is nonexistent (besides housemates, but we all have different schedules and barely see each other). My boyfriend is really my only source of familiarity/security/comfort that I have.

I’m kind of at a loss at what to do about it. We communicate really well, but these feelings aren’t something I wanna bring up with him because it’s really on me. I find myself worrying incessantly anytime he does his own thing and internalising it like hell.

All the normal things I’d do to distract myself and build up my independent life are inaccessible to me because of covid. It’s impacting my studies too because I’m too emotionally distressed to think properly.

I don’t have a psych right now, really hard to find one as I’m in a much larger city. It’s difficult to get a response from any clinic at all 🙁

I need some strategies to deal with this. Also maybe some non-burdening/worry-inducing way to express what’s going on with me to my bf would be great too.

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