As the title said, I guess I’m a college graduate now. After struggling so much in school and being dubbed as dumb and lazy my entire academic life, today at about 10pm I just sent in my last final. No party, no graduation, no job to look forward to since no one is hiring at the moment. I’m not narcissistic enough to think I deserve a party or a graduation now due to everything that’s going on; but looking back on how much i’ve struggled to just keep afloat and how fucking hard it was going to school every day and feeling completely worthless because it felt like everyone else was speaking a language I couldn’t understand, I just want someone to tell me I did good. This is the most anticlimactic ending to the difficult part of my life. Literally the only thing getting me through school was “think about how good you’ll feel when you finally be handed that degree!” But the only person who will be handing me my diploma will be the mailman, and they can’t even be within 6 feet of me. I don’t even get a cap or gown to take pictures in because they cost $80 and it wasn’t worth it. idk i’m just very sad that my biggest struggle is finally over and i don’t even get to shake anyone’s hand or be told i did a good job. And it’s my birthday this friday and i’ll once again be all alone, but forcefully this time.
Also using the “success/celebration” tag feels ironic but like… i guess it’s a 1 woman celebration