I’m having complicated feelings here. My husband is thankfully getting better but has been sick for the last month with what we suspect is covid. (He had a negative test, but has all the symptoms. We are in a hard hit area and I’ve never seem him this sick this long including 2 visits to urgent care / ER. We just went for antibody tests today.)
More recently he has been complaining of brain fog and feeling mentally slow and forgetful. For the last couple of days he’ll make flabbergasted remarks like, “oh my god! I walked into the room and couldn’t remember why I came in here! Can you believe that?” And “Look honey, I set my water down here and I forgot where I put it.” And then, “I went back into the kitchen for my water and I STILL didnt bring it back, just my coffee.” He says these things with a mix of disbelief and humor, while at other times he expresses a lot of anxiety about these and other symptoms.
This is… such a mixed bag for me. I’ve been really worried about him and I’m really glad he’s getting better. I’m still worried because he’s usually very organized and it’s true, any change in cognitive function can be a cause for concern. Especially because he’s been dealing with a ton of obnoxious and scary and ever changing symptoms for a month and counting. Most of the time I’ve been reacting with humor as well.
But I’ve also been saying – “you mean you dont usually do that?” And, “you know, you are basically describing things that I do probably 20 times per day and have always done for my entire life. Welcome to my level!” It’s strange to me that this seems so remarkable to him because it is so everyday for me.
I am also having a hard time because, while things have gotten a lot better between us, we definitely have a history of him criticizing me for this exact type of thing. Setting things down and leaving them because I’ve forgotten about them, getting off track and delayed because I’m not totally keeping track of what I’m supposed to be doing. He’s always been the more organized and disciplined one. Part of me wants to scream, “Now YOU know how it feels!”
Of course, I dont know what it feels like to have covid or whatever bug this is since I didnt get sick, so maybe we’re like even?