Hello, this is my first post on this sub. I’m 19, my little brother who has diagnosed ADHD just turned 10. Before quarantine, my brother and I got along totally fine, I was very busy with school, friends, and other extracurricular activities. He was also busy with his after school sports, play dates, and therapy so I didn’t spend a lot of time with him unless we were on vacation or eating dinner as a family.
Fast forward to being in quarantine for almost 3 months with my family, I’ve been getting really frustrated with him and the way my parents let him get away with everything. I also feel like he has found ways to manipulate my parents into letting him do whatever he wants. I don’t want to seem like I’m unaware of how ADHD affects the brain, I know that there are some things that are more difficult for him and that require extra attention, reminders, and help. However sometimes he’s downright RUDE and I feel like my parents let it slide and chalk it up to his ADHD. I’ll list some examples:
Refusing to help around the house. Whether it’s bringing groceries in, washing the dishes (even his own dishes), taking out the trash, etc. To get him to help, my parents have to basically have a screaming match with him so I think most of the time they don’t want to get into it with him and just let him get away with not helping at all.
Obsession with YouTubers and video games. My parents try to limit the amount of time he spends on screens for obvious reasons, but every time they turn off the TV or video game console he gets angry, way out of proportion, sometimes he hits the walls or continuously slams the doors and cusses at my parents.
Don’t get me wrong, I think he is a great kid. He loves science, sports, and reading comic books. But it just feels like every time he needs to do something that he doesn’t enjoy he has a total meltdown, he screams, he has even hit my parents and myself.
My worry is that my parents are letting all of these worrying traits slide and blaming the ADHD. I love my brother and care about him and his future very much so I guess I’m just asking for help in how to deal with this frustration, and help him understand how his anger and constant fighting affects the rest of the people in the house.
Finally, excuse me if I have said anything insensitive, I’m not trying to be offensive or minimize the effects that ADHD can have on people. My hope is that by coming to this sub, I can learn how to be a better sister for my brother so I can help him and maintain a good relationship with him.