My new BF doesn’t get my adhd (20yo) son and wants him to move out… I don’t. : ADHD

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Cross posted from r/nvld… Well, I cut and paste, I dont know how to cross post!

Hi everyone, I came in here looking for advice. I’m the mom of a soon to be 20 year old with NVLD.

I will share his journey thru nvld if that’s helpful, but it’s also helpful to know that my son lost his dad to suicide when he was 14.

My new BF and I met about a year after, and he was great with my kids and their grief.

Fast forward 5 years and we’ve ended up buying a home together. That purchase came quick for many convoluted reasons, resulting in the fact that we never talked about parenting expectations.

Turns out, he wants my boy out, I managed to negotiate an extra year into this expectation because it then aligned with my expectations, but as we loom closer to that deadline, I’m worried about my son’s ability to thrive.

I feel hes not independent enough and will land himself in dodgy circumstances, making it hard for him to grow and develop fully.

I’m struggling to parent my older child and my bf wants nothing to do with it, believing he’s an adult and should GTFO.

I’m conflicted. I need insights and perspective.

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