Reflexive lieing

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A darker note. Sometimes, frequently, I can't deal with the shame of saying "I forgot" or admitting that I didn't do something I was going to. I'll lie and say I did and rush to do it, or create an elaborate web of half truths and manipulation to make it seem like things aren't the way they are.

Sometimes when I can't remember a personal detail or can't recall a specific time I'll just make it up. And have to live with that new truth. Until I forget it again and lose somebodis trust.

It feels like I have to choose between looking like an absolute fool who can't get things right or living a constant game of improv.

I've gotten good enough at being a combination of affable and deceitful that it's not an issue in most of my life. But it's not a happy arrangement.

submitted by /u/TheHeresyTrain
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