started my first real Job. My head is spinning and I am very scared : ADHD


Oh boy…

so on Monday I started my first real job in a marketing agency (I graduated in February luckily before the ‘Rona) – I am absolutely grateful for this job. it is a fantastic team I am working on and despite the fact that a close friend got me in, I feel very integrated and a part of the group already.

However, the work keeps piling up. I am working from home I honestly feel so overwhelmed with tasks. it is insane.

Yeah I am taking notes (I am in the agency on Mondays because I can only access the servers from there) when my chef is explaining stuff to me, yes I am setting myself small tasks (eg finish text till 11am) but most of the time I don’t even remember what my notes were about.

then there’s the pressure of not letting everybody down… I am working sooo slowly and inefficiently because I want to make extra sure I am not effing up or worse- letting my close friend who got me this job down.

this is so so hard. I am so lucky that my team is so nice otherwise I am sure I would have quit already. But damn this is working goddamnit – literally every job is like this if not harder like I hate myself so much for being so overwhelmed by everything this is so so so dumb!!! I am a grown up?!?

working from home feels good because nobody can watch me and I can listen to music and time my work the way I can manage… but as you can imagine everything is also a distraction. Oh my plants need waterning, oh I need to feed my sourdough starter, oh might aswell have another coffee, oh a cigarette would be nice, oh another one, oh another one, oh it’s lunch time let’s have a break.

I don’t want to fuck this up but I don’t know what to do with my braaaain

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