The feeling of things being impossible, then being incapable of taking action : ADHD

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I (29M) was diagnosed (combined type) back in May, and I’ve been trying to notice my particular flavor of ADHD. I am taking adderal which has been great for me so far, but there’s still this…. thing lurking around. This particular thing seems to affect me in nearly every aspect of life, but probably impacts my relationships the most. I have a lot of difficulty moving past what feels like an invisible wall or mental block that keeps me from actually taking action on the things I need or want to do. For the last several years I haven’t really been able to stick with one person to date for more than a couple months. Even if I moderately like the person, it’s like a switch turns off, I get bored, and I stop talking to them–even basic conversations feel impossible and I give up. I go numb and blank. I ghost.

Work has been improving, but sometimes I’ll think of a cool side project to help improve a process or something, and I can’t even begin to put it into action. Or the thought of just walking down the street to the store to get basic stuff just feels insurmountable, and it takes a lot of frustration, anxiety, and white-knuckling to get moving. I don’t know if these are the same things, though I know there’s a lot of fear of failure/rejection underlying it… it just sucks to have such a big mental disconnect that makes every little thing a massive effort.

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