Tortured ADHD Soul

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Hay, theres some things that really get to me like I hate myself for it. I moved out from my parents because my family of six was such an emotional burden on me. I thought leaving was the best option and it was but my experiences have left me damaged because the people I live with couldn't understand and refused to understand me as they felt it wasn't there burden to bare. This has left me torn. I'm called lazy because I don't got to my chores fast enough even when I have full intention to do it. My Roommates are tired of talking to me kindly and resorting to yelling or passive aggressive notes & behavior. EVEYDAY I'm tormented with thoughts that say " there going to yell at me", " why do they talk bad about me I'm right hear" " I try to be kind, i always try" " I hate them for making me feel bad"

I have intence worry I wont find a romantic partner who will be patient with me and not shame me. I've developed this content state of fear and my anxiety is always out the roof that I think I've developed a stress problem.

I never want to have kids because I would never wish this emotional hell on anyone. I just wanna be happy but I cant seem to find or afford it. Because of Quarantine I am now left in an uncomfortable living situation where I cant talk to my counselor safely. I'm broken, I just cry and get angry by my self. It all hurts.

submitted by /u/KaffeineCake
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