I am a high school student, who every year fails and fails harder each year. Starts needing to drop honors because I’m failing.. I understand and feel capable enough to do the work but somehow just can’t get it in on time fall behind and then just stop doing. Stop everything until there’s nothing left to salvage and I have no accomplishments to look to or have people consider whether or not I’m a loss cause or not. What will happen when I graduate, if I do with such a low GPA, plenty of classes dropped, switched, downgraded. Will I have a life beyond this. Is it possible to find success, is it going to be possible for me to hate the years I spent any less. Will I figure out a way to live and not be such a train wreck?
Should I be allowed to take the classes I want to next year, to have a chance at learning the things I want to, or is it right to keep me at gen ed level classes that barely engage me, because they might be less hard to completely screw up. I feel like a complete screw up and I feel like reaching out for help was a double edged sword. I feel stuck. I feel like no solution or progress has been made since I got my 504 a year ago. I am met with unenthusiastic and unhelpful attitudes from those meant to help me, it feels like some sort of game when all I want is to be heard and understood, to have a conversation and problem solve. I am met with coldness and misunderstanding instead. But in the end I feel like an idiot playing an idiots game, I want something that’s not going to happen. And I feel so upset I can’t stop crying and I don’t even know exactly why. I just know that it hurts and makes me wish I wasn’t here at all.