When I was younger I used to feel an adrenaline rush before saying/doing something bad

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Anyone that can relate? I have no clue what caused this but I re-call several memories from when I was younger where I would be mad at someone and feel this sudden rush of adrenaline in my body right before acting and saying or doing something bad – such as swearing at someone. The feeling would last for about a second or two? It would feel very strong with a sense of “I know what I’m about to do is wrong but I cannot stop myself” almost like an explosion going off for a moment and I loose control and say some very bad things.

As an adult, this does not happen to that extent. I’m more stable but I deal with anger and irritation a lot. I can easily hit my desk and start yelling for the smallest thing.

I really do not understand what’s causing me to be like this. Especially the adrenaline rushes when I was younger. I wish I could describe it better but it was strong, almost like my stomach were “sinking” or something and my perspective changing for a moment. Very powerful, and right as it happens I let out the meanest words then calm down.

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